How can I overcome the fear of decision making?
Introduction
Have you ever found yourself paralyzed when faced with an important decision? Do you hesitate, weigh the pros and cons endlessly, but still find it hard to move forward? The fear of decision making is a common hurdle that can affect various aspects of our lives, from personal relationships to career choices. Today, let's explore how to conquer this fear and make confident decisions that shape our future.
The Fear of Making Decisions
Fear of decision making is a common struggle that affects many areas of our lives. This fear can hold
us back in relationships, friendships, career choices, where we live, business decisions, personal development, and finances. Research indicates that fear of decision making, often referred to as "decidophobia," can be paralyzing. A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making found that people who experience high levels of fear about making decisions tend to procrastinate and avoid situations that require choice.
Fear can often hold us back. Fear of the unknown, judgment, making mistakes, financial constraints, uncertainty, and hurting others are all common reasons we hesitate. For example, in relationships, we might stay in a situation that isn’t serving us because we're afraid of the unknown or of being judged. When opportunities arise for a new job or moving abroad, we might hold back due to fear. When making a purchase, we might hesitate because of the fear of spending money. Business decisions can be daunting as they might affect the team, clients, and overall business health.
Overcoming Fear
Feeling fear when making decisions is completely normal. Big decisions can be scary, but they shape who we become. Here are some pivotal decisions from my life:
Choosing to leave Australia to work in Europe at 26.
Leaving a toxic relationship.
Relocating to Germany, Belgium, and then Dubai.
Investing in learning and self-development.
These decisions were scary, but they shaped my life. What’s the worst that can happen? You pivot, learn, and move forward. Studies suggest that facing fears and making decisions despite them can lead to greater life satisfaction and personal growth. For instance, a study by the American Psychological Association found that people who take calculated risks and make significant life decisions tend to report higher levels of happiness and fulfillment.
Fear in Public Speaking
In my role as a public speaking and communications coach, I encounter many people who are afraid to speak in public. They hesitate to join programs due to fear of judgment, expenses, or perceived inadequacies, even though they know it’s beneficial. According to a survey by Chapman University, public speaking is one of the most common fears among Americans, with 25.3% of respondents reporting a fear of speaking in front of others.
I understand this fear. In 2020, I invested in a digital marketing coach in the UK. The investment was huge, and I was scared of spending so much money and changing my business approach. But I see this often: people miss out on opportunities because of fear.
Making Difficult Decisions
Business decisions can also be scary. Choosing to stop working with someone, whether staff or client, is tough because I don’t like hurting feelings. But what’s the worst that can happen? Someone doesn’t like you or disagrees? You make a mistake and learn from it? You don’t get a return on your investment?
Practical Advice for Decision Making
One thing I’ve learned is to identify what is holding me back from making a decision. If it’s fear, I ask myself what I’m afraid of and be honest. What do I stand to gain from making this decision?
If you’re afraid of hurting someone else's feelings, remember you cannot be responsible for their reactions. Make decisions that are right for you or your business.
If you’re sometimes making decisions based on fear, playing small, ask yourself, what are you afraid of?
Here’s an exercise: Take a piece of paper, draw a line down the center. On the left, write down all the fears holding you back. On the right, write the benefits of making the decision.
A Client's Success Story
Let me share a story about my client Deepti. She had a private coaching session scheduled as part of her mentorship program but was afraid to join. She worried about judgment and discomfort but decided to join anyway. That session turned out to be crucial for her job interview that week, leading to multiple job offers. She benefited greatly because she didn’t let fear hold her back.
Conclusion
It’s better to make three wrong decisions but be an action taker than to sit back too scared to make any decision. The more uncomfortable you get, the bigger the results you will see. Moving forward despite fear can lead to great outcomes. Research supports that those who take action despite their fears often experience more significant personal and professional growth.
If you know a friend struggling to make bold moves or take risks, share this episode with them. It might help them unlock what’s keeping them stuck.
Psychology Today on fear and decision-making: How Does Fear Influence Risk Assessment and Decision-Making?
Journal of Behavioral Decision Making on avoidant decision making: The cost of fear: Avoidant decision making in a spider gambling task
American Psychological Association on risk-taking and happiness: The benefits of taking risks
